I read it! I got the ARC so I have no money related shame about it, and it was ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD. I need other people here to read it so we can talk about it like, a lot.

It’s so nice to be able to do that to the whiney bros on International Women’s Day. “Buh— Buh — but how come there’s no International Men’s Day, huuuhhhh?” “There is. It’s November 19. Did no one get you a card this year?”

Yeah, barring bad stuff to kids, I think leaving Scientology could only improve most peoples’ impressions of Tom Cruise at this point. Scientology leaking that Tom did butt stuff to get his part in Legend = me paying to see a Tom Cruise movie for the first time since Magnolia.

Yeah, I’ve never actually eaten there, because it’s a Sbarro and all, and I have a healthy sense of self preservation. From a distance, while speeding between the Pret and the Amtrak gates, it looks normal.

(Editor’s Note: OK, I’m blanking on what this could be. Where the hell serves both terrible pizza and breakfast?)

She freaks out and freezes when she wears anything. The spirit is murderous, but the flesh is confused.

Is this Sir Patrick Stewart?

I love this cat. I haven’t even scrolled down to see the other cats yet; I love this cat so much. It will probably make my own cat jealous if I tell her about it.

They’ll have more of one with the cover-up. “What ELSE has Ben Affleck misused his celebrity and influence to keep hidden?”

So be prepared for something amazing: the Lot 18 wine dealership (or whatever its called) is offering a copy of this book and two bottles of Killing Monica branded rose as part of their author series (whaaaat?): http://www.lot18.com/product/6912/2…

I would worry about Beck converting Kanye, and ultimately all of the Kardashians, to Scientology. Imagine the havoc Kris could wreak with the might of Seacorps behind her.

I’ll add that to my LinkedIn profile. “Good at: describing cat faces.”

Nah, he’s got way too much feeling in his eyes to be Hitler. It’s the combination of raffishness and regret — total Clark Gable. (I’d say submit him to that magazine that does pets who look like celebrities, but I have no faith that they’d know who Gable was).

With the roguish eyebrow and the hint of moustache, your cat reminds me of Clark Gable.

Eartha challenges your cat to a fluffy white belly contest.

He looks like Macklemore’s worse brother.

Literally spent two minutes staring at the bottom picture, thinking they were all in one photo and that your great grandad was a priest.

Oooh, I just viscerally shuddered.

Vagina juice like orange juice in the mornin’

If I roll up at Tilda Swinton’s school in Scotland and cook dinner for her, will she personally teach me the science behind why caramelizing onions makes them so delicious?