You go ahead and try violating that “policy not rule” on your next mercifully infrequent flight and see how far that cute little semantic twist gets you.

United Carry-On Bag policy: “Each traveler can bring on board one carry-on bag plus one personal item free of charge. To ensure a smooth boarding experience, it’s important to make sure that these items will fit into the overhead bin or under the seat in front of you.”

But RHONJ is most fun to pronounce. RAWNGE.

In the dictionary, illustrating “Smug.”

We don’t have to get all pale and weird looking like the Borg, do we? ‘Cause I’m cool with it otherwise.

There would be at least one big fan in our house.

I’m torn — I’ve enjoyed both their books; I like both of them a lot; and I’m so pleased they seem to get along SO well.

Today’s random string of observations: 1) I don’t entirely hate Haylie Duff’s cooking show. 2) I had no idea she had had / was having a kid. 3) I feel like she’s one of the increasing number of female celebrities (“celebrities”) who used to be born the same year or shortly before I was, and is now mysteriously 7 or 8…

That’s why she should start off with some soft murders of hangers on, and then eventually build to full scale, Richard III style slaughter of all who disagree with her. You can’t expect to reclaim power if you don’t even try, Liz!

Granted, I don’t think it’s actually either, but it could totally be both: you scheme that long and hard thinking you’re going to have reflected, if not actual power, and then you realize that you have to deal with a bunch of people who think you’re desperately middle class for the rest of your life.

If the Queen can’t kill a Middleton or two and get away with it, what even is the point of having a monarchy anymore?

I had two of these three haircuts in the ‘90s. And variations on the Paltrow one a few more times, like when Katie Holmes had it.

Confession — as this was loading, I thought that Ray Liotta was Puddy from Seinfeld, and I’m actually a little sad it wasn’t.

aw, thanks, y’all.

Google proves you are correct. Which means I am free to name the male lead in my great American opus Walter Berglubdm.

Wait, his character’s name is Walter Berglubdm? What are the odds that that’s just a typo that snuck past every editor?

I’ve never actually tried to change it, but I have a feeling that it — like the weirdly glam picture of me at 25 — will have to go now that we’re changing to the “real ID” format licenses.

Some of us are trapped in bleak hellscapes just below the Mason-Dixon, a full 2 hour drive from the nearest Dillard’s.

“Tom’s looking for a prospect who’s beautiful, smart and under 5-foot-5 (he’s 5-foot-7).”