I haven't watched Jersey Housewives in awhile, but I have absolute faith in Theresa's ability to cower in fear while wearing a bikini, if that's what the tabloids would pay her for pictures of.

Exactly. It was cleaner than some episodes of Saved By The Bell (at least there they'd hit the innuendo to get that audience going "oooOOOOOooooOOOOooooo!")

I kept waiting for it to get good, or bad enough to be so bad it was good, or for anyone other than Screech to be shown onscreen as anything other than fairly chaste and hard working. At some point, I realized: this is what a biopic looks like when people are terrified of getting sued by the subjects.

The dude I've recently been knocking the boots with has one of the BroBible (TM and BARF)'s designated sexy names. It's also the same as my dad's name and my grandfather's, which makes it very unsexy to me (I've managed to say it once during sex, and I could feel my eyebrows furrowing in confusion).

Always, always my first thought when Riff Raff gets mentioned. Don't worry — in five years the new Riff Raff will be totally forgotten*; OG Riff Raff will live forever.

A wee bit of electrical tape holding the fender on? JUST ADDS CHARACTER.

Nope; it's (and this is horrible and selfish) the super lax auto inspection rules that allowed my broke graduate student ass to drive beat up cars that would never pass inspection in DC.

This guy is maybe the second thing ever to make me regret giving up official AZ residency when I moved. I would like the chance to vote for him, please.

Phillip MarLo-Cal.

It is so yum that I sometimes try to recreate it at home, with varying results. Sweet corn, goat cheese, and basil.

You are not alone! La Grande Orange in Phoenix does a sweet corn and goat cheese pizza that I must have at least once a year (my friends think I want to see them, but I'm really just there for my annual corn pizza and legit Mexican food fix).

Yeah, this is not the face of a woman for whom "Grandmother at 40" was the "happiest role."

My jaw just dropped.

Exactly, and she and I have fairly similar coloring, so I feel like if I could ID this one, it would be a safe bet.

Thank you!

Oh dear. I don't know if I can bring myself to buy Kardashsian branded anything. And yet...

Does asking if anyone knows what lip color Kim's wearing make me a strike breaker? A scab?

Does asking if anyone knows what color lipstick Kim's wearing here make me a strike breaker? A scab?

Amazing. Eartha's reaction to headgear can be summed up thusly:

I just want to know how you got her to sit still long enough to get the tiara in place.