The white lie of ‘protecting history’ is the only thing being preserved.

Can we put this one in the W column? It would be nice to put something in the W column.

Now that shit ass song is stuck in my head.

6. Dr Sebi’s herbs do not protect against coronavirus.

I would love to try your applesauce and guacamole dip

Complacency, lethargy, despair.

“Should I have to pay a hefty fine because some people are worried about emissions!?”

Climate change is not an opinion. Recall this when you and your children are fighting literal wars over clean water and suffering from lung cancers caused by particulates.

Google “requirements for living in a civilized society”. Good luck with life, bro.

If you cannot follow the law, stay off the road. 

What do you mean “some people are worried about emissions”? If you aren’t, you’re clearly not suited for this planet. 

In Europe, that would mean that your car would a) not be legal because it would not meet the emissions standard for the year it would be produced in, so it could be impounded on the spot and/or b) since it would not meet the emissions class it was specced for, and taxes are based on emissions, you would be committing…

Slight difference between modifying your car for performance and modifying it to intentionally pollute. Like the difference between an athlete wearing tight spandex to run faster and a guy flashing kids in a trenchcoat. In both examples, my child self becomes a bit more familiar with the shape of adult male genitalia,…

Brad, we found the tool you dropped.  It was in the RV toilet.

“Oh no! I enjoy murdering puppies! Should I have to pay a hefty fine because some people are worried about murdering puppies!? Fuck outta here with this bullshit. If people want to murder puppies then let them murder them. I get it everyone has an opinion but for fucks sake take yours and shove it up your ass.”

1. This is definitely a false equivalency.

If this is the kind of shit we allow to happen, then maybe we don’t deserve to modify cars.

It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last. 

It’s my fault you’re an ass?

“I’ll have the Kale-ing Me Softly salad, please”