Justin Bieber accidentally flashed a group of 13-year-olds when his pants split while performing at a bar mitzvah. Girl, you've become a woman!

Everyone please pipe down, a man is talking.

There was only one set of footprints in the sand Adultoscare. You carried me the whole time.

and also she made a pun with it. it's a goddamn pun. A PUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am p sure you're just an anthropomorphic turnip trying to save you and your ilk.

THIS IS MY FEAR. That I'll bring someone home and will have forgotten to remove my pillow-pizza. :(

it should be sexual reichstag, not sexual congress

I KNOW.

There's also the fact her show sucks.

Oh thank god. I was getting tired of explaining to potential paramours that I have no interest in ever getting laid. This will be a time-saver.

NOT your proudest moment?! How.

I shoved my wedding ring down my exes throat!

im actually 100% e coli

it's not about me, specifically, and it should be about me, specifically

I actually think this is really important. If BYU allows beards then gay men can worm their way into leadership at Mormon churches because they'll be finally allowed to marry a woman, which is pretty much a prerequisite for being considered for leadership positions there.

They can't keep him away from DAT ASS

Tyler Perry is having a kid.

OH LOOK, THE ILLUMINATI PUPPETS HAVE ARRIVED.