You would think an MLB player wouldn’t have to worry about something as trivial as a haircut, but this world, even in its current toxic state, never fails to surprise me day after day.

Let he who doesn’t chop his parmesan cheese with a credit card cast the first stone.

“It’s a meeee, a slow merge to left up ahead!”

I’m not even a Vikings fan, Drew, but if Brees ends up in Minnesota, I will also shit your pants.

If anything, this year’s Super Bowl is evidence of how valuable having a quarterback who can catch the ball is.

It’s more fun to go off the side of the boat and then run and tell your friends to “come look, there’s a fish!” and then they run over and they look at your poo.

I’m waiting for the 18 part Deadspin series on how Boston is racist because of taunts by Black Hawk fans.

Duh. He’s the quarterback who knelt during the national anthem and was blacklisted by the NFL.

Are you really suggesting Trump would take a tragedy like this and try to make a naked political point?

Good luck. There are people you’ve never met who are pulling for you.

Sobering message

So, did jezebel send a reporter to cover the report? If not, your beef seems kinda petty. it’s pretty ridiculous to expect local media to ignore THE major sporting event occurring in the city. Especially since a super bowl hasn’t happened there in over 20 years.

Maybe release the report next week instead?

Remarkably stupid blog post, you’re welcome.

I ordered 9 things on amazon this weekend and i hope my city wins the amazon 2nd HQ. The biggest employer here pays no local property tax and was incentivized to build here. Then it brought 20k professional jobs to the area. This town has gone through a massive boom because of them and its a great city.

Huh. It’s almost like human feelings are...nuanced.

+1 hilariously out-of-place Heisman in Ratner

can’t believe you just assumed his gender

Sounds like you meet the criteria, though.

Whew, that’s good to know. I thought I’d have to to compile all of my Deadspin comment Bucks hot takes to get the job.