Stop saying, “full stop,” Adam Savage. A period ends a sentence. We get it.

Coldstone.

And guess who helped write the jokey copy for the pop-up asking you to turn off your ad blocker on this very site? That was me. Don’t turn that shit back on. We need the money to replace Marchman.

the Astros’ head physician

He’s not comparing. No one is downplaying your precious little rivalry, relax.

Why do Hot Dogs come in 10 packs while Buns come in 8?

He may have something here.

lol but did you notice that they used “your” wrong?

I’d be careful if I were Stanton. Last thing he wants is the hard hitting investigative reporters of The Player’s Tribune on his case.

You shouldn’t believe everything that you read, that’s how you wind up with a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve.

Satisfying

I mean, you’re still gonna die. Happy Tuesday!

You blew a once in a lifetime headline.

Not one to be outdone, LaVar Ball has decided that his next child will be named LaBall Ball.

More like he’ll need Poise because he just wet the bed.

Lord knows that when I look back on all the women I’ve loved, I primarily think about the men they worked for.

Derrick Rose and DNP (Coach’s Decision)

Lebron James & Derrick Rose?

It’s actually a heartfelt message to his lover, Stan D.