Does. The. Dog. Die.

Anyone want to speculate as to which goddess Billie Piper will play?

I like that movie. I distinctly remember thinking “holy crap, don’t fuck with James Cann, that’s a terrible fucking idea” while watching it.

Spoilers, I guess. I felt the only truly frightening moment was when the jock was threatening to break Erica’s arm. I thought he was going to do it, and I like Erica a lot. That felt real. Turns out the monsters were the dumbass jocks we met along the way.

I’m an open water swimmer, and I have to admit that mosasaurs are my #1 nightmare animal, even though they are extinct and could never, ever hurt me, like, ever. Just this morning I was looking down into those weeds, in a tiny lake in Maryland, and imagining frickin’ mosasaurs.

I’m glad Heartbreakers made the list. This movie is much better than you think it’s going to be, and Liotta is a scream while at the same time playing completely to type.

The sword skills come later.

King Osric : There comes a time, thief, when the jewels cease to sparkle, when the gold loses its luster, when the throne room becomes a prison, and all that is left is a father’s love for his child.

That certainly does sound like a run of bad luck with relationships. I can see why you prefer your current situation.

“Stephanie’s two closest friends ... forgive her far too easily when inevitably called upon to do so.”

I graduated from high school in 1983. You get used to it after a while.

What expectations do you think qualify as “unrealistic”? And for the record, I always hated when guys tried to impress me. I have now been married to a wonderful man for 28 years who has never once talked about his accomplishments.

It seems to have plenty of the stuff I enjoyed about GoT, so OK. I mean, I could always stop watching if I want to. My one hope is that they leave out the gratuitous sex and sexual violence. It’s hard to know that from the trailer.

Totally agree. I met some “pardoned” turkeys at VA Tech, where they go after the pardon. It was really sad.

I have chickens, and yes this. They. Are. Dinosaurs. 

There is a better reason not to pardon turkeys, which are not wild and aggressive like this one, BTW. The pardoned turkeys seldom live long, and they are pretty miserable. The are very heavy and have difficulty walking. They are bred to get fat and be killed.

Well, OK, but what was nice about this site is that it covered stuff that might not get covered on other sites, in fact it focussed on stuff that was not covered on other sites. I realize that there is exponentially more to cover now than when AV Club started (and I have been with it since it started, even when it was…

Thanks for all of your great work. Best of luck, and I will be looking for your byline in the future.

This has been a really fun column. You’re a very entertaining writer. Thank you for watching terrible movies and brightening my days.

But apparently not, you know, this time. ;)