People that scam through Crowdfunding piss me off. Don't they know that all you have to do to get people to fork over hundreds of thousands dollars is shoot a black kid?

I'd tap dat foot

The Empire State Building was constructed in only fourteen months at a cost of around 25 million. There were only five documented deaths, only two of those due to falling. So, pretty darn good- unless you were one of the five dead guys.

Nah, don't think I could do that (though my dad could, and did, as a welder).

Check out those arms. Wow.

I believe the old rule of thumb on construction sites was "one death per $1 million spent."

Your charm is boundless, haha.

A joke about white people, using adapted black culture, performed by white people?

I also think it should be noted that felonious prone people tend to look at perceived 'weaker' societies to use as a base operation for illegal activities.

I don't think executions are ok, but it's not like you aren't warned. I took that pic in the Denpassar airport a few years ago.

Your screen name is incredibly offensive, tasteless and rude, I love it.

I'll do it just for you.

she became a fugitive

I was estranged from my mom for years. It probably wouldn't have been that long had she been truthful about some major events on her life (one of them being why she became a fugitive) when I point blank asked her. At the time, she told me it wasn't her fault that I didn't trust her and I needed to forgive and forget…

Sex + $200? Sounds like a good deal to me!

His name was Javier and I met him when I worked at the bookstore in college. He was super hot, but that's because all he cared about in the world was his body. Good for him! Good for him. But between working out and moisturizing and hair care and trimming and and and, there was...not much left. But super hot and…

I'm sorry, did you mean to submit to a "Hero Stories" contest?

How to choose? Was it the guy who hogtied me with his socks (see my winning entry in the Awkward Sex Pissing Contest)? Was it the iron-worker who was a secret libertarian? Was it the drunk guy who demonstrated how he could come on command and then told me that he had no respect for how I earn a living? Was it either…

"'Baby shoes', huh?"

"Yes. Purpose unknown."

"You're disgusting."