Well of course you don’t want it inside of you. Why do you think women are so anxious to force those things out of themselves? They’re so desperate that they squeeze them out of their vaginas!

I think you accidentally went to the Great Lakes Medieval Faire down the road.

Had one of my soldiers in Iraq taking a college course, he needed to give a “public speech” for one project - he chose anti-abortion as his topic, with lots of slides. All I could think is that I wanted gummi bears afterward.

Did you accidentally go to a local arts and crafts fair and not the RNC?

( 1 You can’t walk into the convention

And then I told Raw-ja to suck my deflated balls!! How you like them apples, you lousy New York fuck?q1!? Pats 4-Eva!

“You can only do that IN an NBA game, Draymond.” - NBA Disciplinary Committee.

“about damn time” -Steven Adams' testicles

“Hortelano’s name shouldn’t be too unfamiliar to U.S. audiences; he competed at Cornell.”

What, do you want him to eat off the ground like some kind of animal?

Why did I break into your house and take your front door with me? Because F$%@ you

Etiquette Bear is using the lid as a tray for serving High Trash Tea to his beary good friends.

He's going to use it as a plate, right??? OMG please find the lid to see if he used it as a plate!!!!

That is the appropriate reaction to being a Detroit Lion.

This year, I had five football players ask me to adjust their grades after the semester or to let them to extra/makeup work after the semester had ended so that they could bump a D to a C, or an F to a D. I said no to all five, and a few expressed astonishment. Clearly, they’re getting special treatment from some…

This absolutely mirrors my experience with revenue sport athletes at a I-AA school. Occasionally their handlers get involved, though I’ve never had anyone put any kind of pressure on me to provide special treatment — it just turns into an extra meeting with the handler there to repeat what I say and give the student…

I feel like I’m in a sort of unique position—I’m a former NCAA DI coach who now teaches at a large state school. Man, I love having athletes in my classes, so it always makes me sad/frustrated when athletes express this idea that they think all faculty are against them. Many faculty truly enjoy university athletics…

I’ll be that guy:

I was jerking off when the bulletins came across the TV saying Diana had died. Totally ruined my efforts. No need for a re-try in 10 minutes, it was no use. Thanks a lot, Diana.