"His notoriously uncuttable hair" gave me an unexpected and welcome laugh. As if his hair has a mind of its own and somehow has been able to defy convention and remain unshorn.

If she's going cold turkey completely on her own (i.e. no rehab, therapy, or support group), then I'd personally find it very hard to believe that she's actually kicking her addiction. My brother is a recovering drug addict, and he has been for many years (fell off the wagon several times). He's still in treatment,…

Thank you! I just looked in my "Other" inbox and discovered a message from a guy I'd met at a bar over a year ago. I remember really liking him and being cheesed off that he never called me after asking for my number. Turns out I typed in my number wrong! He tried to message me, but stupid Facebook filtered his…

I agree, that story doesn't really make sense to me. If there's an HR department, they're the ones you should be notifying; not the VP. At the very least, you should be talking to your direct supervisor/manager. Unless the VP was their manager?

Oh right, being audited, forgot about that!

I'm pretty sure tax forms never ask for your gender, so I don't understand how the IRS would even know that you're in a same sex marriage. Do IRS employees go through our tax returns by hand and check our genders against our Social Security information or something? Seems like you could file jointly as a married…

That quote made me want to punch him in the face. Also, this reads like a predator's guide to rape:

The lottery ticket prank started off an episode of "Happy Endings" once, and the prankee just ended up telling all his "friends" how much he hated them and that he was never going to talk to them ever again because he was rich now. The rest of it goes pretty much the way you'd expect.

I love George Takei, but I don't really like his April Fool's jokes because it always takes advantage of his fans, who'd love to see him actually do something like this.

That's going to be my new response whenever my mom asks me about Google Drive. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THE CLOUD, MOM!

Now that's just the laziest latte art I've ever seen. At least try to draw the devil or something!

Right?!? And all they have to do is delete it from the Cloud, and it won't be there anymore. But then there wouldn't be a movie, so....

Metagross and Bulbasaur are here too if you pan to the left.

More from San Francisco: Empoleon is at the Sutro Baths, and Scraggy is at Alcatraz Island.

I'm really glad you added that edit, because I could totally believe someone as out of touch as GOOP would say something like this!

I'm not at all invested in a remake of Cinderella, but your enthusiasm makes me want to see this movie now!

When has that ever stopped anyone from getting married!

Judging by this Amazon review, it was written in earnest. However, I'm not even sure how it ended up on Amazon, let alone managed to get a review, when it's apparently out of print.

When I worked at a coffee shop during college:

WHY RASHIDA?!?