I am letting this embarrassing error stand, because Sugar Ray’s “Someday” would be a fine wedding song.

Does anyone remember the game “Perfection”? THAT is the best gift for a kid you hate. It’s scientifically designed to be nearly impossible and half the time you’re struggling so hard to hurry up your hands would be shaking and then you’d just feel like such an asshole when you couldn’t manage to get the octagon in as…

The fact you didn’t include the guy eating eggplant parm by himself is a crime. I know it didn’t quite fit the theme, but goddamn, it was the saddest story ever.

My previous company, (which was a short-lived experienced due to them filing for Chapter 11 after only a year there), used to have these really swanky Christmas parties at this high-end, members only “club” in Philly called the Union League. The corrupt jackass who ran the company was a good ole boy member there, and…

Not sure if this counts, but I lived in Seattle working retail for two years, and wasn’t making enough to afford a plane ticket home. So for Christmas, I made plans for some friends to come to my place so we could all commiserate. I made dinner, this unnecessarily complex version of eggplant parm that calls for…

That's one motivated Mastiff. My Danes would take one look at that course, take a couple monster dumps, then go back to sleep.

This is like when the fridge scored a rushing TD in the Super Bowl. Damn, this big guy just made my day…

Was there. Threw some bear. It was fair.

Can Gawker just list off all the people they’ve fired instead of this Cleveland-like sadness parade where I keep going into a column I enjoy to find out that it’s the last entry?

I will miss the way you never really liked anything, and used too many words to say so.

Awwww, the Denver Broncos!

Step 1: Bake a pumpkin pie.

It’s been clear over the past few seasons that the Lions work very hard to censor what people can say about them. Specifically, they’ve made it nearly impossible to say things like “the Lions look pretty impressive this year” or “I’ll give up the points and take the Lions.”

Doesn’t work for me. Says I don’t have a qualifying plan and I can upgrade my account, but gives me no indication what changes I would need to make. Thanks Verizon!

Just change Europe to USA and Muslims to Irish and you could easily imagine this comment is from 1840.

Then the roaches can ride it like a fancy little elevator.

Sorry Tim, I tried to read this review but all i kept hearing was WAH WAH WAHHH WAH WAH WAH WAH!

Jim Caldwell’s morning:

It’s a shame things didn’t work out so well for Monica Seles when that guy tried to steel her.

Regardless of who won and how, it’s important to realize that at least the Cardinals didn’t win anything.