Should I use my memento keepsake Masters baster?

The biggest takeaway from this? The best announcing crew for the White Sox is the Spanish-language team.

Listen, fuckface, if I wanted to have a nice chat with a bunch of smug, sarcastic, cocknozzles who enjoy writing silly stories about silly subjects I would read Breitbart.

"It must be endlessly frustrating for other teams IN DETROIT, PLAYING A MERE 8 BLOCKS AWAY AT FORD FIELD to see Detroit do this over and over, even nine years into the salary cap—it's simply not supposed to be possible."

Yes, you lowing moron, that is exactly what I am telling you. Different leagues have different policies when it comes to taking video. The NBA, for example, could not give less of a shit about people ripping video and putting it on the internet. The NFL used to not care that much, but has gotten more persnickety…

Listen, fuck face, I would have loved to embed the video of the highlight, but the clip on MLB's site is currently "not available for sharing." And if we rip the video and post it on our own, we get a cease and desist letter. So take it up with them.

Sorry, I will keep my Angel Envy and Peanut Butter Patties Thursday night routine as long as I can. Seriously I have no idea why, but they really do bring out the best in each other. However, I am glad I'm not the only one that mixes girl scouts and bourbon.

The real culprit here is people who order shitty corporate pizza. How much Crazy Bread did you bastards eat to make this deal possible?

What a relief after that asshole Dorn pranked Wood with the old red card in the locker trick.

Back to the Future already told us what we should do if we can time travel. It's the "Gray's Almanac" plan. You wouldn't even have to go very far, hell even a year's worth of knowledge could set you up for a hell of a gambling run that would set you up for life.

The term Cinderella doesn't come from her underdog status though. I think the comparison is that she came out of no where, and wowed everyone. But ultimately the clock struck midnight on her and she didn't win the prize of the night (the prince's hand/the NCAA championship). She still left a lasting impression on…

Attention: This here is the thread where we get nostalgic over late 80s early 90s music. I start with Pixie's Debaser.

Time is a flat circle, Tim.

Ohio State fans are gonna be PISSED when someone gives them the gist of the joke that Dayton made at their expense.

You did alright, although you looked about as comfortable as Riley Cooper at The Apollo. If you screwed up somewhere it was your demure take on the "for thee" at the end, usually that's the part where you really let your dick swing and belt it out.

The Gators are one of two reptiles in the tournament, the other being Coach K.

I ran a marathon and I mention it every chance I get, but I don't bitch about it or whine. I just brag about it like a total asshole who you want to punch in the dick..

and don't forget Miami of Ohio

Started at OU before transferring to MSU. But seriously, you traveled out of state for an Oakland game of some sort?

Except Ferris State is basically 13th grade with sticky floors and pot smoke.