Dumbrowski is horrible at drafting but my man can make a trade.

I'm with you here, Marchman.

Michigan's should be Coney Dogs. It may not be their original food, but the amount of Coney Islands all over the state numbers in the thousands. Pasty's are an upper peninsula thing. In the LP no one eats them.

As a Michigan resident I think it should be pointed out that "The Pasty" is associated ENTIRELY with Michigan's Upper Peninsula, which for all essential purposes is Canada. That being said, lower Michigan is widely known for fast food and hard narcotics.

I'll gladly pee like Butters before I fucking sit down to pee.

I like to go to Arby's and get a small order of curly fries, only to hear the woman at the counter yell "SMALL CURLIES" to the back. I laugh every time this happens. My wife still will not enter an Arby's with me. But not because of that, because I weigh 600 lbs.

I have a staffer named Ray Lewis. He is a mid-twenties average looking white guy / hipster. Without fail every single time I introduce him someone asks him if he is retired, how it feels to be an accomplice to murder or to see his Superbowl Ring. People are dumb.

After calling for help from the nearby police officer, Hunter was shot multiple times. An internal investigation quickly ruled that it was in self defense

As a Tigers fan, the bullpen is a fucking dumpster fire. That was brutal.

The first row of the bleachers are reserved for handicapped seating so....

Ironically that's the same headline every other sports page is using for THIS image:

Wouldn't be the first time that the Boston Police didn't help out a black guy

That'll make those opposing batters think twice before homering into your bleachers.

Ew, I won't watch this I'M TOTALLY WATCHING THIS.

ETA: WTF needle??!?!?!?!

ETA: Save yourself the pain and just go straight to 5:55.

Conclusion: That has to feel SO GOOD/NoOooOoOOoooOooooooo
I did it so you wouldn't have to, people.

A picture is worth, well, plenty of words:

Man, I was hoping for a takedown of the Catholic church.

One would suggest the pretty "standard" lineup for the Tigers is symbolic of the fact they have high-priced talent that would be able to hold down said spot in the lineup on a consistent lineup.

When Hawk dies, are people going to shout "You can put him into the ground, YES!"?

Fuck Nick Swisher.