If you've ever uttered the words "I'm not a racist," you're probably a racist.

My sister in law will be over this Thanksgiving, and she's a stain on humanity. How can I get rid of her?

KYLE. Don't make me come over there.

No.

I honestly don't think I have access to that much poop.

On the bright side: this a movie waiting to happen. It's so rare in real life to have such a well defined villain and a hero. It's like a high tech version of the Jennifer Lopez movie, Enough. I hope the author sells the film rights, makes millions and uses it to ruin Moore's life forever.

Sometimes Anonymous just gets it SO right.

This is the most fascinating thing I have ever read on Jezebel. Holy shit that is so scary.

Why not just invest in a multi-pack of micro fiber cloths in the auto or cleaning isle of your favorite big box store. They can be washed with the rest of your laundry and re-used.

Fox headline: "GUNS KILL PEOPLE," RAVES RADICAL FEMINIST FOREIGNER.

Would they have photoshopped malala's waist out of existence as well?

I started going gray considerably younger than Kate did, and I find it both amusing and a little sad that people are surprised that a woman her age might have a few gray hairs. Dye covers a lot of things.

An elderly man had dumped a chihuahua where I worked. She was older (neither I, nor the vet, have any idea how hold she was), she was severely overweight, and her teeth had mostly rotted out. She was also terrified of everything, but she latched on to me pretty fast, and followed me around everywhere (including my…

They don't owe anybody anything. They are owed by society that their abusers are put behind bars, not the other way around.

Elizabeth Smart also came away from her experience without any children. I think Jaycee Duggard's desire to protect her daughters has factored a lot into her decision to remain a private person. I read Duggard's memoir, and even there she says very little about the two girls (which I think is a wise decision).

I feel like this article could have been written without the "Elizabeth Smart is awesome, in contrast to Jaycee Duggard" angle.

I am 15 weeks pregnant with my first, and I am now in TEARS. Thanks, Cornwell. Thanks a lot.