Bobby Finger: Watching car-crash TV so you don’t have to.

I am “so over the hate” I am going to dedicate another gazillion tweets to it.

Beef? Pork!

To be pardoned by the President, soon, no doubt.

“I have been blunt with Harvey and he has listened to me”

Other reports suggest this wasn’t just a (wannabe) model who got lured to Italy, but that she’s an established model who got sent out there by her modelling agency... I can’t wait to find out how they got fooled into sending her out to this non-existing modelling job...

Getting things pre-measured means I don’t have to throw out produce because it goes bad before I can eat it

Wait, what? A towel for your puppies that’s actually more expensive than a proper bra? Seriously?

Keith always makes me feel better...

“She’s a real star on the rise,” the source continues.

Seeing as he got off without jail time, he’s good at manipulating adults as much as children

Incorrect. They have a GoFundMe campaign through which they’ve raised £1.3m

They already have, that’s the fund that raised £1.3m.

Good grief what a depressing premise for an article.

“Three sculptures were permanently damaged and others to varying degrees,” and “the approximate cost of damage is $200,000.”

Not a fan of Ariana’s music (read: I AM OLD) but can’t give her enough credit.

My issue is not with Lena Dunham rehoming her dog. Rehoming ≠ abandoning, it’s finding the best possible home for your pet, even if that’s not with you, and that’s a heartbreaking thing to do.

“Put your hand on the scanning screen, and you’ll go down in history with me!”

Anytime another one of these score-settling manifestos (wrongfully marketed as ‘memoirs’) is published, it’ll get the (very public) attention from the author’s political and media peers, but beyond that, does anyone care enough to buy and read books like these?

I used to use these way back when I worked in Starbucks but these days they no longer use the ones you fill yourself but the ready-made factory-sealed ones. More waste but presumably safer.