Didn't Nirvana originally write Heart Shaped Ass?

. . . THIS ISN'T THE ONION?!?!?

Am I the only one who sees Cyril possibly becoming a villain somewhere down the line? We've already seen him do pretty wicked things in the past. He's kidnapped Cheryl, embezzled company money, and taken to a dictatorship pretty quickly, among other things. Granted, Cyril's character was always written to be somewhat…

Back when the Xbox One was debuted and they were running their campaign that basically dumped on used games and companies like GameStop, I went into a store and made a joke about how they only hate the console because it's threatening their business. "Yeah, it sure would suck for us to go out of business when we're…

They do this so some little asshole can't sell his friend's games anymore.

A quick look at the title made me think this article was gonna talk about how corny this movie is (that opening line sure didn't clear anything up), which would've sucked because I'm kinda looking forward to this.

I bet this movie will be "even funnier than The Hangover Part II."

Publix probably has better potato salad than this fucker.

"During the drive she complains that she doesn't need anymore lawsuits." The fact that Lindsay Lohan is even filing a lawsuit makes her not like the character at all, then.

He must be the Xbox One.

You obviously only need 24 minutes though…

My room in Hell would be a comfortable one. There'd be a decently sized bed with a nightstand to the right. The nightstand would also have an electrical outlet right in back. "Finally! The perfect place to plug in my phone charger! Now I'll be able to use my phone in bed without worrying about the battery life!" I'd…

This album sounds like what fans of The Black Keys probably wanted the new Black Keys album to sound like. The Jack Keys… (HAHA)

That's actually really fucking true. I kind of overlooked not having manuals. That was the game changer in THPS2. Not to be confused with the game breaker which was, you know, reverts…

I'm pretty sure I could go back to any Tony Hawk game and nail a 5,386,497 point combo right out the gate. Well, not any game… Let's say up to American Wasteland. Before they started getting all nail-the-trick-y and actually-stand-on-a-skateboard-y. Then again, that's not very impressive, because I'm sure everyone…

The Giant Lorde…?

He probably just now listened to Turn Blue, and realized that it's a pop album that sounds nothing like the White Stripes.

"Probably thrust far into the background behind characters [and CGI aliens inevitably worked in when the special director's cut edition comes out] who actually matter."

You're telling me that nobody NOSE that's Steve Carrell?

Luke's theme?