I mean... I’m sure he doesn’t want to, it’s just that when he’s forced to confront the dichotomy between his ideology and reality, he finds it easier to retreat into a comforting fantasy where he doesn’t have to choose. He knows that Abortion Is Bad, but he also knows that it’s unavoidable as a medical necessity. The…

They are at great risk of personal embarrassment by making the faux pas of assuming someone’s gender incorrectly! I mean, thankfully this child erred on the side of masculinity, which is always the correct thing to do in the case of any confusion, but this teacher could still have seemed less than authoritative in…

A useful tip for folks going online: The second someone unironically uses the phrase “diversity of opinion”, you can safely dismiss anything else they have to say on any topic. That’s code for ‘Do you let me spout just as much of my bullshit as you do your common sense?’

“Selling Women’s Bodies ..We’re Not Buying It.”

Jeremy Bearimy, baby. She’s bound to have died somewhere along the line.

If you’re the kind of asshole who believes Franken should get his Senate seat back, I suspect you’re also the kind of asshole who thinks Tina Smith was just keeping it warm for him. It’s not a logical thought process, but misogyny is a hell of a drug.

Unless you’re defending all the actual Nazis that these same people seem to love so much. Then it’s “freeze peach”!

If she feels this much remorse, why isn’t she pleading guilty? She should be accepting her just and deserved punishment in an effort to minimize the suffering of Jean’s loved ones.

It is about taking a shot at Gillibrand, but not because she’s a moderate. Sadly, this is just about sending a message that powerful men get to do whatever they want without consequences and women should shut up and know their place. It’s the hill they want to die on because it’s the first hill that was taken—if they…

As my dad once put it, “The problem with draining the swamp is it just means you see the same slime all over again.”

“THERE GOES MY HERO... WATCH HIM AS HE GOES!”

“This is why the Right wins all the time. Because the Left has principles and holds people to them, even when it’s difficult and painful. You should try being hypocritical and tribalistic, with the only goal being to attain and hold power. It’s awesome!”

I just ate a Dorito. There was no investigation, I have not been legally found to have consumed a Dorito, but it still happened because I admitted it and you have the common sense to recognize that the evidence is pretty strong for my Dorito consumption even though you weren’t there to witness it. Yes, that evidence…

“I’d like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I would gaze up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. [He gives Morden a mockingly cheerful finger waggle.] Can you and your…

He also spilled everything, while drunk, into Kissinger’s wiretapped phones. Let’s not go too far here.

Do they somehow card you, or scan your brain or something, to determine whether you’re sufficiently sure you “wanna” taste Werewolf Beer? Is there a quiz? Do they deny your purchase if you seem inadequately committed to putting it on your tongue? I have so many questions.

And none of that is relevant to this article. Stop trying to derail the conversation into what you feel like talking about. It’s an asshole move.

That does kind of explain why he looks like a background character from Borat.

That is the eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwiest thing I’ve ever eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwed at. Like... he does understand that Epstein raped those girls, right? Not just “they were not of legal age to consent”, but “they did not consent and he sexually assaulted them anyway”?

In this particular context, what you are saying—whether you intend to or not—is that we should do this bullshit navel-gazing exercise of yours instead of putting common-sense regulations in place to minimize the harm poverty does to millions of Americans. That’s the only reason to respond to, “We should enact this…