But he was always different. Watch the Season One finale. Unlike all the other demons, he’s actually interested in people. That’s why he comes up with the whole “fake Good Place” idea in the first place, because he wants to live inside the neighborhood he created and genuinely interact with his... charges, for lack of…

I dunno, if the monsters were really racism, wouldn’t all the white people in the film be able to ignore it even while looking right at it?

Because Michael was always “good”. In the sense that Michael was always moral. He always saw himself as an agent of morality, coming up with horrible tortures for people who deserved to have bad things happen to them because they were bad people. He was cruel, yes, but he thought that his cruelty was fair and…

He definitely would have needed fewer gems that way. Just grab the Mind stone, brainwash everyone into using their resources more responsibly and using birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancies, and bam! Problem solved.

Tying people up in the sense that she wants isn’t the sort of thing you can just kind of do every once in a while—there’s a lot of work involved in making sure that the person is tied tightly enough to feel “bound”, while not pressing on a nerve or cutting off circulation. BF would have to study and practice, and that…

There’s absolutely no point in doing the right thing to avoid “giving the Republicans a cudgel to use against the left”, because those motherfuckers will straight up take whatever you did and call it the worst thing ever. Even if it’s normal governmental procedure, even if it’s the same thing they did last week...…

Theranos. Not Thanos. The story of Thanos is ‘Avengers: Infinity War’.

Even in their original context, they are a reminder that a man who wanted sex was expected to treat a woman’s “no” as a socially acceptable lie and not as a sincere expression of her feelings. The convention of “women always say ‘no’ even when they mean ‘yes’” was always a way to put the responsibility for the…

My analogy is it’s like going on a camping trip with someone who insists on shitting in the cooler to make it less attractive to bears before you go anywhere. And you can explain to him that it’s really going to make your food a lot less edible while not really deterring bears at all, but he doesn’t care. Because he…

If he’s smart* he won’t do it for the same reason Sessions wouldn’t do it—it puts him in the crosshairs for an obstruction of justice charge. Absent grounds, firing a guy who’s investigating your new boss is a really good way to wind up in jail, and Donnie doesn’t seem to be too interested in handing out pardons in…

Usually guys like this test the water with something ambiguous enough to pass off as harmless. If they don’t get the kind of response that makes their boner happy, that woman goes in the “potential alibi” pile and they go out of their way to act extra respectful to women when they’re around so they can pull them out…

Especially because it just came out that “Cybill” got canceled because she wouldn’t let Les Moonves get handsy with her. “Difficult to work with”, “psycho”, those are often code for “doesn’t put out for the producer”. Or else they’re people under so much stress from dealing with abuse and harassment that they begin to…

Isn’t Jafar supposed to be... old? Like, isn’t that the primary reason why he can’t get the Sultan to sign off on getting him to marry Jasmine, because he’s too old and it would be creepy even by the standards of the time? Because the Jafar they cast, man... Jasmine’s got options, is all I’m saying.

My single biggest problem with the movie (and I’m aware it may be part of the charm to some) is when the heroes gather together and essentially say, “Hey, let’s hypothesize a bunch of rules for these aliens’ behavior based on all the sci-fi movies we’ve seen, on the grounds that maybe all of them are real and we just…

• Boyle: “Have you seen all these posters of David Stovelman’s wife, Debbie?”
  Jake (reading): “‘I’m happy, healthy, and alive.’ Oh, Debbie dead.”
  Boyle: “Debbie real dead.”

Because that would mean arming every African-American citizen, and the Republicans shit their pants nightly thinking about black people with guns.

I remember getting protobortles after a weekend camping trip. I had to scrub down with bleach every day for a week.

They paid out the money because he was caught on tape, too. This is almost literally “Who are you going to believe, me or your lyin’ eyes?”

You can’t gerrymander a Senate seat. They’re statewide elections. Unless you have some way to redraw the map of the United States, it’s about the closest we come to genuine proportional representation.

“In America, everyone does whatever they want, society did break down, it’s terrible, and it’s great! You only look out for number one, scream at whoever disagrees with you, there are no bees because they all died, and if you need surgery you just beg for money on the internet.”