I totally want to make a horror movie called “Gone Galt”, where a rich executive meets up with a secret society that promises to take him out to a special community for the self-reliant ultra-rich hidden out in the desert. And at the end, when he gets there, he finds nothing but a bunch of half-finished lean-tos and a…

Minnesota is to Republicans a little bit like Texas is to Democrats—a state that they’re just sure they can flip in a few more years if they keep trying. It won’t happen--there are a lot of rural Minnesotans who are deep red, yes, but the Twin Cities outnumbers them all and it’s blue blue blue and getting bluer.…

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH.

I live in a neighborhood that has had multiple mosques and Islamic community centers crop up in the last decade. There’s now a halal grocery store just a couple of blocks from my house, and my kid is majority-minority in his school. You know what? I think it’s genuinely great. My neighbors are nice people who are…

Marvel: ((makes ‘Black Panther’, a film that examines themes of colonialism, cultural isolationism, and the emotional issues that come with grief and mourning while finding out your parents have feet of clay)) ((gives amazing, meaty roles to women of color)) ((create a sumptuous visual palette that staggers the…

Do you touch your hot stove because you want to “stick with the old school of experiencing something before judging it”? No you do not. Because painful experience has taught you that sometimes, things that are glowing bright-red and making sizzling noises are, in fact, going to make for a very sucky and painful…

“a reference no one under fifty will even get anymore”

That’s what gets me—the whole process is steeped in the hipster mentality that “popular = bad”, but when you say, “Hey, how about actually giving awards to something a lot of people thought was really fucking good?”, it’s immediately considered to be a “lowering of standards”. As soon as the Academy stops immediately…

I’m kind of surprised that nobody has mentioned my least favorite thing about the Raiders: The way that every time Chris Berman gets a chance to talk about them, he says, “Da RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRaidas” in a weird growly voice before…

Oh, it is totally a movie about how American jingoism is genocidal and we should work with other countries to solve humanity’s problems. (I honestly kind of love it, even if the science is absoludicrous.)

Who can take a child? Spirit them away? Whisper secret messages they instantly obey? The Slenderman! The Slenderman can! The Slenderman can, cause he mixes it with hate and makes the kids taste good!

In fairness to Geostorm, it turned out that all the space terrorists were secretly run by genocidal xenophobic Americans who wanted to wipe out all the foreigners with weather control technology so they could hog all the natural resources for ‘Murica. So it was the kind of movie that would give Trump ideas, just not…

He obsessed over child sex because he was the victim of a child molester. Everyone copes in their own way.

It, um... wasn’t tacit. The audio featured Nunes giving a capsule description of what Trump did and saying, “That’s illegal.”

Mel Brooks already took care of that by making “Dracula: Dead and Loving It”.

They think it’s bad because they all know deep down that they’re losers. These are nobodies, people who have nothing going for them and no reason to hold their head up high and be proud of themselves. They know full well that without the unearned advantages of white privilege, they would be the ones at the bottom of…

I fully support any kind of headcanon for it, but I want absolutely nothing in the films. “Phasma? But we personally threw your corpse into a fire after shooting you repeatedly in the head! We watched your body burn to ashes!”

He did say that. Later, he said, “If we shall suppose that American slavery is one of those offenses which, in the providence of God, must needs come, but which, having continued through His appointed time, He now wills to remove, and that He gives to both North and South this terrible war as the woe due to those by…

He definitely could. If he’s smart, he won’t (with the possible exception of Phasma, who I’d love to see back over and over and over again, each time surviving a more over-the-top and dramatic death with less and less explanation) because Johnson’s movie was basically the only answer you could give to JJ’s puzzle…

He retells the story for the Netflix documentary “The Toys That Made Us”. Not gonna lie, I choked up a little.