Man, we’ve really got to figure out a way to give Tom Brady’s kids mono. 

We might just have to agree to disagree on this one. Especially with your second point there. Being smarter than the people in a pro sports team’s front office isn’t some sort of incredible mountain to climb. 

It’s not just the context of the word, it’s aligning yourself and your interests with team management. People who don’t care about you at all, would move the team away from you if there was a nickel in it and see you as nothing more than a walking wallet that they’re trying to take for all you’re worth.

Every asshole dipshit douchebag fan who’s ever done anything obnoxious that they would never try to get away with in any other venue attributes their bullshittery to their “intense emotional investment”. Pointing out that you shouldn’t be so attached that it makes you lose perspective(which in a minor way “we” is sort…

Yeah, that’s always been my rule of thumb. If you’re watching a game, at the stadium or at home, go ahead with “We should have scored” or “The Refs are screwing us”.

Well, fuck. There goes all the Lou Marsh award suspense.

Be fair. Drew Brees is just a guy trying to live his life by the word* of God.

Yeah but Swedish McDonalds still make you assemble your own Big Macs. 

Yup. Now nobody even remembers that whole thing about the governor wearing blackface...wait, did I just ruin it?

I seem to remember thinking you’re a cunt but I can’t remember why specifically.

You can just say beer.

Lots of people have posted stuff similar to what you said but there’s still a pretty central flaw. A lot of the basketball answers here are “Well, the other players wouldn’t take you seriously so they wouldn’t guard you” but they’re not applying that same rationale to the other sports. If some doughy out of shape…

I think there’s another secondary thing there though. Like, it’s all well and good to say the police are terrible and it’s true that the legal system is poorly positioned to properly address sexual assaults but a lot of times when this issue pops up we’re talking about things that aren’t even necessarily illegal.

+1 terrible Spin article

Man, sure has been a triple-murder heavy day on Deadspin, huh?

Yeah, we were all 13 or 14. 

You know, it’s funny, I didn’t really think about it until just now but I never drank it again after that. It was also the end of my competitive hockey career. 

The first time I ever got drunk was with some guys on my junior high hockey team the night before a game. Being the sophisticates we were we got just destroyed on Gin + Orange Juice and shots of Ouzo. Why we thought this would be a good idea the night before a 7 AM game would be anyone’s guess but I figured I would be…

Even in the event that you touch the ball, you’d right away learn what “unguarded” means in a NBA sense. Either you’d just be throwing it up blindly or you’d be taking a guarded shot because it would take .3 seconds for one of those 6'8 guys with a 8 foot wingspan to close in on you.

If the other players are taking it seriously, no way do you ever get passed the ball.