“Put him in center field.”

“pfft, kids”

You know, when I said “hey, give me a story to distract myself from how bad the Pistons are” this isn’t exactly what I meant

...this was the first nerdy reference I could think of as a joke. I am ashamed

“If you want athletes to be drug fueled steroid machines, have the testicular fortitude to say so”

I demand every athlete looks like Bane.

This is why people who’s parents aren’t blood related know to hate kentucky

“Jordan (whose best night was 69)“

Grandpa, I didn’t know you wrote for gaw- er, gizmodo

Thanks Obama

“Paul Ryan said, “I will not sugarcoat this, this is a disappointing day for us.”

Only one child? well then, what’s the scandal? Let’s move along, sheeple!

source:

+1 lost statue

Say there’s someone who’s looking to get into sports. Any sport. Let’s also say they’re a giant asshole, and you hate them.

I think it’s unwise to fuck a wizard. They’ll curse you and the next day you’ll wake up rooting for the Brooklyn Nets

Really? See, I would have bet money on Drew coming out the victor, simply because any man who willingly chooses to support the Minnesota Vikings is clearly a man who does not fear death.

Say the entire staff of deadspin was shipwrecked on a deserted island. Don’t ask why you were all on the same ship, or why you were at sea at all, you make your own bad decisions in this hypothetical scenario, actions have consequences.

Follow up: With the news that the Oakland A’s are oh so lonely, shouldn’t someone have a heart and do their part to get them and Smash Mouth back together?

Are all these White Sox stories the new Cardinals numbers?

If so, I submit they should all end with “There’s always the next game?”

I’ve always wanted to play D&D. I’ve always just lacked that one necessary requirement to do so.