Bronson Arroyo has an appointment at Great Clips later today.

@Gourmet Spud: God damn it, Spud! You're a god damn genius! This is the most outstanding joke I have ever heard. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. You are goddamn gifted, Gourmet Spud.

Rush Limbaugh

Did Reggie Theus turn him down so he could focus on filming new episodes of Hangtime: The New Class?

Fehr has accepted the same position at NAMBLA. He will continue to facilitate strikes (of the keyboard).

We'll always (not) have 1994

He omitted the words "cut" and "foot". Everyone knows Kevin Bacon is huge in Egypt.

Going to the MLB Civil Rights Game luncheon tomorrow. Anything you want me to shout at Selig?

@JohnnyDakotaStateU: Success!

this is a test

@HoustonNuttsPhoneBill: George Zidek, you're cool. Fuck you Tyus Edney, I'm out!

I know, ballyhip really didn't bring the zing. He would never last on these pages.

What did Tim Legler ever do to deserve his own Mexican holiday on May 9th?

Hey, the intern put journalism in my Deadspin...and I like it.

That's enough of that filth, flarn, filth, Tiger. Bill Cosby just kicked a small dog in a fit of disappointment and rage.

I choked one out in an interview once. Not only did I not get the job, but I haven't been allowed back in an Arby's in five years.

@pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: I'll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon

@X-tacle: After the game, she was placed on the DL for "personal reasons"

I raised this question the day the crash happened, so I'll pose it again: does this change anybody's opinion on what happened? It doesn't change my opinion of Gallo at all

So you're saying the book as a whole might suck? I'd be more inclined to buy if you told me this was an Excerpt From a Book That Doesn't Suck