@Karlifornia: not pictured: Hal Morris's steroid-fueled sideburns

Johnny Dakota approves the hypocrisy of this message

@seldomused: It's hard out here for a Canadian in Cincinnati.

Spain should stop importing their bulls from Palestine.

"saying that he's a stupid head who can't even write his own name."

FUCK DirecTV. "sorry, it's raining, no more satellite TV for you"

@CanHeHackett: that was so offensive, i couldn't even think of a witty comeback. those kind of people are so terrible. i went to school with many of that type. if i was that, i'd be celebrating at home right now with some Smirnoff Ice, wearing my sunglasses (with croakleys) indoors

there used to be an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet called the Filling Station. go there for brunch if it's still around.

@CanHeHackett: i am none of those things

i just buried back-to-back game winning threes in my meaningless Thursday night pickup games. still, i'm pumped.

Majester?! I hardly know her!

@SayChowdaFrenchie: i don't play fantasy baseball, but that sounds like a good deal. especially if Jay Bruce starts coming on strong like he did tonight. that will make Votto even more dangerous.

@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: i woke up Monday morning with a plastic bag full of tequila jello shots. taking a lot of willpower to make them last til this weekend

@vamusical: great advice. remember names and be the first to learn your way around campus. familiarity with names and directions will make you a popular person, inevitably leading to some easy hookups

Jay Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce!

did any Orlando fan want Pietrus to take that shot?

@Chris Hanson's Axe: how do you feel about the Golden Oreos? the cookie, not the sexual act

@ClintonPortishead: The switch to the industrial-strength electric drill with neon dildo attached, when he needs to use the microwave to heat up the queso dip-based lubricant. damn circuit breaker. can't run both at the same time

@CanHeHackett: still drawing part of his paycheck from the Reds, most likely.

Oswalt walked in a run! that's more runs than he usually gives up against the Reds.