Rangers fan here. Had I heard of Kaapo Kakko two months ago? No. Does that change the fact that he’s now my favorite dude ever and I’m now looking forward to someday having twins who we name Kaapo and Kakko? Not at all.

So the rules are unfair, Man City still broke them by lying, forging documents and acting above the rules. I have no sympathy for them.

I generally have pretty good reading comprehension, but I cannot figure out why this post, no matter how much it equivocates, seems to be defending Manchester City.

A slight update: The unnamed staffer actually only claimed they were better at being a horse than the horse lady. In the interest of partial transparency, here is a copied and pasted list of claims they made, verbatim:

Jesus, Drew, she fucking farted. Be a goddamn gentleman for once.

This is just spectacular.  I rarely scroll this far down, but I am so glad I chose to eat at my desk today and take a five-minute break. This is a work of art, and it will soon take its rightful place at the very, very top of this otherwise refreshingly warm and heartfelt kinja.

Get well Drew.

Re: Walking,

“This is some pretty heavy stuff.”

God this is so eerily similar to what happened to me, same injury, generally same set of circumstances (had been drinking but not overly so), same general consequence. Thank you for sharing this experience. It brings me back to that scary time but it’s also oddly cathartic for someone to go through something so…

WIFE: Do you want the windows open?
ME: Nah, I’m fine.
WIFE: Okay I’ll open the windows a little.

Can’t tell you how many text messages I exchanged with friends seriously worrying about the health of a person I have never met and will likely never meet.

Oh my fucking god, Drew! I’m so sorry that you went through that and I’m so fucking happy you’re alive! To share I went through something milder than that last year. I had 3-4 episodes where I was shaking badly. One time when I was going to work and it was so bad I couldn’t put the lid on my coffee; a stranger had to…

Jesus, man. This is harrowing. Like everyone else in the comments, I’m glad things didn’t go differently.

I also believed, for some reason, that a celebrity chef (no idea who) was killed at the same bar the night I bashed my skull in. And that I was a person of interest in that chef’s death. Please know that no famous chef died that night

As things go, to open an article with an image, that’s a pretty good GIF.  Or GIF, as the kids say.

That ball spent so much time on the rim Derek Jeter just proposed to it

The best part of this whole thing is how absolutely furious Skip Bayless is right now. 

It’s less mistakes in war strategy (last episode took the award for that) and more where the fuck did Euron’s fleet come from? On a clear day at sea level you can see to the horizon. On top of that, Dany was airborne, increasing the distance she could see monumentally. Somehow Euron’s ships were just... there.