Yeah, but they’re also fucking terrible.

Every time I hear of this band I keep expecting it to be because Paul Simon caught up with them and beat them with a baseball bat.

Vampire Weekend’s discography is the official soundtrack of gentrification  

The mayonnaise of indie rock, if you please.

I cannot explain for the life of me why this awful band is suddenly everywhere in my life

I haven’t subjected myself to the new album like you did, but from what I’ve listened to, I feel that they are distinctly, impressively, unimpeachably average.

I’m just here to say that I never realized Cincinnati was the same shape as Alaska and that it’s freaking me out.

It’s always been like this. Doesn’t matter if they win or lose, people are going to Cubs games to get shitfaced in the stadium and at the bars just steps away outside. There’s pretty much zero parking in that area, so people just get on the Red Line or take the bus there and back. The bars are overcrowded and the…

also the worst thing Ballmer might ask you to do is use a Surface, not listen to his vanity band

Listen, I get all the reports and stuff, but just wait until the Knicks get a look at Daniel Jones and decide to go all in on him.

Not knowing what conference or maybe even which teams you are watching, an obsession with “fiber,” a [racially coded] disdain for “swag,” a vague conversation ending quote when you don’t feel like talking about something anymore (“you never know”) - I think Dave Gettleman is my deceased grandpa.

I’m an Eagles fan. I just realized- WE get to face Daniel Jones twice a year!

*does happy dance*

I just lost my mom a month ago. She was perfectly healthy 74, then diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and gone less than three months later. It’s still hard to process - it all happened so fast that we were just coming to terms with the diagnosis. Now I find myself in the unexpected position of trying to be sure from…

I effectively lost both parents by 28 (my dad left at 13 and never heard from him again, but my mom was awesome). Someone said you never truly become an adult until you lose a parent and I really felt like I was a different person after that day. 

I know. I just thought I’d say it again, since he mentioned what happened to him that night, and brought up a couple of direct repercussions from the brain trauma in this column. 

8. See my grandparents while I’m still alive.

Counterpoint: The Deadcast actually answers the age old question about a tree falling in the forest.

Glad to hear you’re okay, Drew, and thankful to have you back here writing.

Nearly five months ago, I suffered a severe brain hemorrhage while I was just standing around at a work party. When I collapsed, I fractured my skull.

/leads with a list of things you can never do for the rest of your life, like play hockey or watch Star Wars