“Mind if I borrow your calipers?”

“Hey! Let’s use some social science to justify dehumanizing these guys! No one’s ever thought of that!”

Afterward Goodell told a crowd of reporters, “I did Nazi anything that troubled. Truly, it was one of the fascist decisions we’ve ever made. Was it the best deal we’ve ever made? Totally ... -tarian.”

..

Reached for comment, Foles said, “Look. I may believe in miracles, but I’m not a fucking moron.”

Typical exchange on LynxedIn.

I Ask You Once Again: How Are The Cavs Like This?

Also, I’m convinced Bill Belichick’s old soul owns an autographed copy of The Art of War.

🗣Talk THAT talk, @stephencurry30 *NSFW*

I believe this is the best opportunity for me moving forward and I’m eager for what the future holds. Especially the drugs.

We disciplined the students yesterday.

#FleeTo

You could even bet on AAU, 14-year-olds playing in the finals of the AAU. And the only winner here are casinos, in my opinion.

Well, buying brass testicles and displaying them on your desk will get you slightly more respect than telling people, apropos of nothing, that you have brass balls.

Scene: darkened bedroom

Jim Tomsula Teaches Rookies How To Dance Their Way To Success

It’s big boy season 

Thanks to @jordanbpeterson for speaking to our staff and enlightening us today!

In conclusion: the most famous active baseball player is almost certainly Tim Tebow.

The Philadelphia 76ers Should Blow Up The Team And Not Worry About The Short-Term Consequences