Hey, when in doubt, let’em know how much you never cared in the first place.

Nor do good intentions necessarily compensate for a lack of humor or failure to distinguish the important from the fucking trivial.

It is also possible that the path to a clean conscience does not run through correcting others. Just something to consider.

Seriously, though, great Tucker Carlson impression.

I didn’t know Young Republicans read Deadspin.

Then check out a close-up of the most important part

“You’re always going to battle gravity, and so the lighter you can be, the better off you are at the end of the day.”

But perhaps not the least of yours...

Next week’s press conference.

He hopped a fence in the protest zone

he “urinated in the direction of the away section

a fun but ultimately pointless exercise

Jed York is a good man.

My wife and I have been passionate about education being a gateway

Change is tough, but that’s what makes the world go straight.

According the Elliott, the process so far has amounted to a fucking ton of navel-gazing.

Mitchell claims that he was pushed by a teammate

It’s not every day Deadspin runs the same headline as Breitbart.

The Aaron Rodgers Hit Was Legal, And That’s The Problem

Of course, Laura accomplished her secret goal of giving Hannah milk farts.