Indeed a most majestic and sage vehicle. You’re right, I will do as Baracus commands and follow my dreams! Look out Jalopnik, here I come! (Cue credit music by Walter Murphy set to a montage of the last half hour of my life.)

Confederate Motorcycles is rumoured to be ditching their name and going electric. http://lanesplitter.jalopnik.com/confederate-motorcycles-is-going-electric-and-ditching-1798762243

Watching a train mashing into anything is one of my guiltiest pleasures. It’s like automotive snuff porn. It’s like Thomas the Tank Engine meets 8mm.

Hey, if the Christians can claim exclusive ownership over the biography of an ancient Jewish hippy, I can quote Ford and post GM all day long.

So, it’s like that girl in high school who isn’t the prettiest, but is worth a romp in the hay because you know she’ll say yes? That’s fair.

Holy crap you can get those for sub $15,000? I’ve been looking at all the wrong Kijiji ads.

Great, now I have to find a way to get coffee and mucus out of an USB port. Oh well, company computer anyways...

I prefer the “Opinionated Canadian Quaker Van of the Week” m’self. It’s like Church Van of the Week, only we drive it around in absolute silence, neither wholly enjoying or disliking the experience. We wait for the light to go “green”, permit ourselves a pleased smile and then mosey on our way. 

Not only that, but it appeals to the hipsters with all it’s probiotics and ability to go back to the 1960s and get some legit vintage T-shirts.

My understanding of Nevada is that it’s home to the world’s greatest forensic scientists, Morpheus, Sam Malone and hookers. I don’t know about you, but that seems like grounds for a Cheers/Matrix reboot that involves finding out if the dead prostitutes in the Cheers bathroom are, in fact agents.

The pulp nature of FF’s claims makes me scratch my head over this whole matter. I mean, if a hobo (even a nicely dressed, Mandarin-accented hobo) tells you he needs your change so he can finish his yogurt-powered time machine, would you? I mean, you’d at least hope to see engineer approved plans for the extraction of…

There’s a bus that lets everyone know you’ve got a fine arts major and you’re not afraid to use it!

Looks like you’re all outta words, sucka!

I pity the fool who doesn’t appreciate some preschool-level blackface!

That’s weird, the Roadmaster suggested a full size van.

Alright, alright, alright~!

You call them unsafe, I call it “survival of the fittest”.

As the good Lord said, “be thy rich in seed, be’st poor in car”-Ford 2:50. Saddle up, ‘father’, you’ve got yourself a congregation to haul.

Mitsubishi’s Head of Brand Development.