I don’t know about the rest of you, but I personally do a lot of driving in the face down, feet backward position. By “driving”, I mean massages and by “a lot” I mean I’ve paid for at least 14 Thai work visas over the last year.

JDM vans are like JDM women; cutely proportioned, strangely alluring, exported under cloak of night and seating for 7 (though usually only occupied by 1 at a time).

This is the Lexus...er..”Toyota” Alphard. It comes as a hybrid, so...screw you FCA and your saucy Pacifica. They made a sport version, called it the Vellfire....VELLFIRE for christsakes....

You know what a vehicle like this says to me? It says, “I have no time for purposeless crossover. I have no time for your generic minivans. I am the spawn of Gundams, the herald of an edgy and practical future in which street sheikhs ferry their harem of hoochie-mamas around in technopulence. My front grill is…

So, if Tesla put a grill on the front of their vehicles would this qualify as vehicular post-truth? Also, when speaking about grilles on cars the answer is always classic Buick

I go back and forth on the “performance street truck” argument more often than a tennis ball at Wimbledon. On the one hand you’ve got a basic tool gussied up to do something it was never intended to do. On the other hand most performance cars aren’t really that practical in the first place. I’d say a performance…

Don’t get me wrong, looks like a nice little number. There’s just this nagging sensation that it should have been a shooting brake. Granted, I have that same sensation towards any car not already a shooting brake.

Can we aim to not use “sad” as a sentence unto itself, exclamations and all? Unless speaking about the POTUS, in which case there’s no other way to type.

Cars from an era of mustachioed metal workers who owned french curves instead of rulers and dreams instead of deadlines. They liked their coffee black, their beer amber, and their women pasty white. These men were 50% artist, 50% engineer and 100% jalop. Their breath was exhaust, their thoughts measured in cubic…

Yup I made a mistake, misread something.

I wonder if this scales? If so, would the applications for a SPCCI engine work in the light truck sector? Mazda has made no hints that it’s interested in getting back into the truck game, after the B-Series. That being said, an efficient, powerful, non-diesel engine in a small bodied truck would be a wonderful…

Ah Mazda’s running on magic juice. I guess between unicorn farts and hydrogen, this was the more logical modification. Unicorn farts would have been the more obvious choice.

Yup, that there’s a primo wagon.

Hourly.

Next time I’m asked the definition of “abomination” I’ll just use that photo.

Did you know that unicorn in German is einhorn?

Finally, the only logical choice to go with the following automotive abortion:

Your Kia Rondo looks German and overpriced. I fixed it for you.

I think we’re on to something here. Now, someone paint it brown, give it a turbo rotary diesel and we’re set!

Just because Mozart was a genius doesn’t mean he didn’t take the occasional sh*t