Holy crap you can get those for sub $15,000? I’ve been looking at all the wrong Kijiji ads.

Great, now I have to find a way to get coffee and mucus out of an USB port. Oh well, company computer anyways...

I prefer the “Opinionated Canadian Quaker Van of the Week” m’self. It’s like Church Van of the Week, only we drive it around in absolute silence, neither wholly enjoying or disliking the experience. We wait for the light to go “green”, permit ourselves a pleased smile and then mosey on our way. 

Not only that, but it appeals to the hipsters with all it’s probiotics and ability to go back to the 1960s and get some legit vintage T-shirts.

My understanding of Nevada is that it’s home to the world’s greatest forensic scientists, Morpheus, Sam Malone and hookers. I don’t know about you, but that seems like grounds for a Cheers/Matrix reboot that involves finding out if the dead prostitutes in the Cheers bathroom are, in fact agents.

The pulp nature of FF’s claims makes me scratch my head over this whole matter. I mean, if a hobo (even a nicely dressed, Mandarin-accented hobo) tells you he needs your change so he can finish his yogurt-powered time machine, would you? I mean, you’d at least hope to see engineer approved plans for the extraction of…

There’s a bus that lets everyone know you’ve got a fine arts major and you’re not afraid to use it!

Looks like you’re all outta words, sucka!

I pity the fool who doesn’t appreciate some preschool-level blackface!

That’s weird, the Roadmaster suggested a full size van.

Alright, alright, alright~!

You call them unsafe, I call it “survival of the fittest”.

As the good Lord said, “be thy rich in seed, be’st poor in car”-Ford 2:50. Saddle up, ‘father’, you’ve got yourself a congregation to haul.

Mitsubishi’s Head of Brand Development.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I personally do a lot of driving in the face down, feet backward position. By “driving”, I mean massages and by “a lot” I mean I’ve paid for at least 14 Thai work visas over the last year.

JDM vans are like JDM women; cutely proportioned, strangely alluring, exported under cloak of night and seating for 7 (though usually only occupied by 1 at a time).

This is the Lexus...er..”Toyota” Alphard. It comes as a hybrid, so...screw you FCA and your saucy Pacifica. They made a sport version, called it the Vellfire....VELLFIRE for christsakes....

You know what a vehicle like this says to me? It says, “I have no time for purposeless crossover. I have no time for your generic minivans. I am the spawn of Gundams, the herald of an edgy and practical future in which street sheikhs ferry their harem of hoochie-mamas around in technopulence. My front grill is…

So, if Tesla put a grill on the front of their vehicles would this qualify as vehicular post-truth? Also, when speaking about grilles on cars the answer is always classic Buick