I think they should have to wear a maple codpiece and pelvic thrust the ball for a bunt.

Jozy’s most clinical finish in years.

Thought Catalog is the worst thing written *by* millennials. This is the worst thing written ABOUT millennials.

This will end poorly.

In typical Simmons fashion, it took him 273 words, 273 words that could have been spent talking about the chemistry of the Celtics and how it’s remarkable that they even got a chance to win 15 straight at home which is really attributable to Stevens (I mean, how freakin’ good does that hire look now??? Talk about…

Stories like this one are the reason why I purchased a personal computer and modem which I use to connect to the information superhighway. My wife said I was a fool. “Ten thousand dollars a month?!” she said. But who is laughing now, Babs? I. I am the one who is laughing. For though you received our home and children…

“Fuck yeah. This walk is awesome. Gettin exercise. Hangin with my best bud, Human. We’re just loving the outd..........nope I’m done. Right here is good.”

Now to persuade Jim Tomsula to move out of the big suitcase.

DeMarcus Ware took Oher to the cleaners; thankfully Sandra Bullock picked him up a few hours later.

Not nearly as well accepted was Von Miller’s attempted gift to Tom Brady of a pearl necklace.

Depends.

Newsman: I wish he’d come back.

This motherfucker is so corny I swear Congress is gonna subsidize him in the next farm bill.

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I wasn’t really impressed at first. But judging from the sound, it’s definitely harder than it looks.

“Epic comeback starts right here...”

Ironic that in a sport dominated by Asians, history is made by this particular Wang.

If I wanted to see a dickhead hit a ball I’d watch Bryce Harper highlights

Grow up, get over it, start acting like football fans and knock it the hell off.

And the guy would’ve gotten Brady to like it if he spread some peanut butter on his balls.