This ranks second on the list of baseball-related beefs I care about, right under Vienna.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Chip Kelly’s the kind of guy who gets a pair of Jacks and an Ace kicker, throws his life savings into the pot, then alienates his cards until they get him kicked out of the poker game.

John Gruden is also a noodle-whacker?

Scout: If you could kill someone and not get caught, would you?

Can we get Evan Mathis, Lesean McCoy, and Emmanuel Acho to start a weekly podcast in which they spend an hour just talking shit about Chip Kelly? I would listen to that religiously.

Is there not a clause in this contract promising to not air Jaguars vs. Titans on a primetime slot?

Oh man, imagine if he were around to see the AFC South today.

Michael Jordan looks way different than I remember.

Poor guy, he was soooo close to using “whom” correctly

Hang on, are you telling me I shouldn’t get my science knowledge from a guy who was a notorious pants-shitter?

I think you meant, “Now go to the farmer’s market and get me some locally distilled, hand-crafted Seattle bourbon.”

I don’t know if this is directed at the Seahawks or the general public, but we can safely assume the “keep pounding” part is not directed at Russell Wilson.