Recommended for Canadians and Brits only, who can get knee-replacements for free.

Born Brit but lived in N. America since a baby. Did a trip like the one described here. Didn’t mind the little paths, excuse me, roads, through the hedgerows so much (it was winter, hardly no cars) but those goddamn, goddamn roundabouts. You know you’re going the right way, but none of the names on the signs = the…

All that pacing. Very Freudian. He was DYING to walk out of the room. Because omg no one here is falling all over themselves adoring me, they’re being so mean to me.

You can tell a Windsor baby a mile off.

Christ, what is this, demonise cats week?! Do you WANT to encourage animal abuse?!

Dear Cyclists - in case you were wondering, when you are on the roads you count as a vehicle, not a pedestrian. Kindly follow the laws for vehicles. Perhaps then you’ll survive all those red lights you currently shoot through like your ass was on fire and your eyes were shut tight.

In the immortal words of Billy Connolly, I start out blue, it takes me three days on the beach to turn white. And then I have 3 minutes of white before turning strawberry ice cream pink.

Thank you. Monsters seldom act like monsters when there are witnesses.

*insert airhead joke here*

Hrm. You really need 6 hours of sun for veg.

So Ulukhaktok is a beach town. Well, I suppose, technically. Still sounds odd.

Limeade concentrate + tequila + lots of crushed garlic = world’s best chicken marinade. Overnight. Bbq. Mmmmm.

The floggings will continue until morale improves.

Anthony Hopkins. Still creepy after all these years.

Surely the court will rule that his debt to her is unpaid? “But I gave $$$ to her charity!” “That wasn’t our ruling. Give her the amount we decreed. Nice try, bozo.”

World’s stupidest car name.

What is your objection to my usage of the word ‘fin’?

Jesus. If you can read, you can cook. Just get on with it. Fin.

You’ve never lived in Orange County CA, have you?