Yeah, *that* will change soon.

This story checks off a lot of boxes for Coen Bros. movie inspiration.

The Coen brothers furiously sharpening their pencils...

Wait till Newt finds out about cops with Punisher tattoos. 

Regarding the Weekend Update slide - there is currently an opening on The Daily Show should Colin or Michael want a shot at their own show with a built in audience. 

Totally agree. I don’t want to watch anything that makes me feel a single mote of empathy for Trump. Even today, I read something about how he was breaking Jared Kushner’s balls about going on a camping trip and punctuated his remarks with the Dueling Banjo theme. Fuck me, but that was actually pretty fucking funny if…

I remember Sinbad’s “I know what you all are thinking: Do I  have enough clothes to go to a black college.”.

I’m honestly kind of glad my kids decided they didn’t like watching the NFL. It’s just a matter of time before a game turns into a snuff film. 

And Zuck honestly thinks he's going to create The Metaverse with no t&a and sex...

“My, what a colorful neighborhood!"

I’m sure 99% of the people watching Wheel of Fortune on a regular basis remember when those were new.

Next she’ll discover the original brownie glazed lips

Hopefully he’ll get a nice desk down in the server room.

They really got to make a franchise out of this movie and it’s dramatic messiness.

I think you have a better chance of hooking up with Udoka.

Just get it over with already and put SSRIs in the water supply like they did with fluoride.

I would’ve given away my fortune if I were Bezos so those texts never saw the light of day. He should’ve just sent a screenshot of the ATM machine with his balance. 

I’m rooting for John Boyega just to piss people off even more when a white woman tries to seduce him and he remarks, “Pass.”.

There’s like two Adam Levines: The smooth crooner and then the 13 year old after one beer. 

I can’t wait for “Suhmnerh” to be a trending baby name.