He just wants you to know he's now a Supreme Court justice. /s

Oh look, it’s this guy. Did you get lost on your way to the AVClub circle jerk? /s

I thought it was interesting that Aristotle did a sad sack failed comic earlier this season (Laughingtosh) and a stereotypically ethnic person with a mustache (apartment sketch), and we got the two of them in one with Melissa's spot on WU.

Cop logic: Why would you ever try to flee after I just emptied my clip into your car?

Sadly, I have to agree even though people will chastise me for even bringing it up. He has noticeably declined from just a few years ago. I hope they don't plan on a Biden 2024 campaign.

She caught all of his STDs and is on the lookout for more.

But they’re warriors!*

It’s also what happens when politicians aren't afraid for their lives.

Watch the parents turn around and sue the teacher and school the second their kid’s name is tied to this act in a public forum. Even racist kids get protection for things that occurred in a school.

Now deal with that god awful haircut.

Candyman looking motherfucker. Did the detectives try saying his name three times to make him appear?

I feel like it would be really easy for him to win the award and feel like all is forgiven finally. In reality, the people he abused should be the ones who do this.

Admitted sex pest is more appropriate.

Yep. I’m okay with him touring and selling his specials, because heck if people want to spend their money on that then that’s their business. Giving him his industry’s highest award? He’ll no. He should’ve politely removed himself from contention.

Can Will Smith slap someone again so we don't have to hear about Kim and Pete for a week?

Well, the Academy did ban Will from going to the Oscars for the next ten years, and Jada is going to need a date. They can invite Chris back to host and they all spend the entire time roasting Will while he sits at home crying.

And to think, at the precipice of the pinnacle of her profession, all she had to do was endure another round of people with a fraction of her intelligence and experience tearing her down. Thankfully, this should be the last job she ever has to interview for.

IRS? DOJ?

Wait, people want small trucks that don't look like transformers and cost 80k?

Saying this for the folks all the way in the back: