Or randomly fucking it all up. I’d be super nervous if I was in the ISS now.

I did it, but not like they think I did it, Cuomo is saying, in so many words. I did it, but because I didn’t mean to harm them, everyone must have experienced my behavior as innocuous.

I blame Brian Ferry and the whole Yacht Rock movement. 

These are the same people who refuse to actually text you anything but “call me”. 

That’s a mud tube. I’ll bet the whole planet is infested with termites. I’ll get a few of my guys on it right away.

I’m sure his parents are happy that the whole world knows exactly how much/little they’re actually worth.

Fucking TruCoat..

$100 cop was drunk and didn’t want to get a breath/blood test.

Hide your daughters.

That’s something I can’t even fathom. My parents basically set me free when I was around 14. I mean, I kinda wish I had a little more guidance and didn’t have to figure out *everything* on my own.

EMDR therapy has been pretty helpful in overwriting traumatic memories for me. Just wish I would’ve done it sooner instead of trying to drink them away.

Clock radio woke him up to Rihanna.

Promoting your ignorance and thinking you’re flexing. Stay in school, kids.

6 CD changer in the trunk of my late 90's 3 series BMW. You better like those six CDs.

He gets flak because he doesn’t have the art school pedigree I suppose. I think they’re great and he’s got a nice style going. Modern art sucks anyways, you either make one thing really really large, or a bunch of things really really small. That and make it look like graffiti or a Blythe doll drawn by a 5 year old.

Wendy’s Double Stack all day.

Uh, he reported on a story from the LA Times which cited a passage from a published book. It’s not like Raphael claimed he was in the room.

Talking about buying cars in the before times is a lot like Grandpa Abe Simpson talking about the good ol’ days where everything was absurdly quaint.

We can’t bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don’t go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which…

In this market, definitely. This would be perfect for a kid’s first car.