In our case, it's because I insist on tucking in blankets on my side, but my wife refuses to on her side. Naturally, the blanket can't move towards her, so it migrates towards me until enough of it is hanging off the bed that we completely lose the blanket. I don't feel bad at all, because if she would just tuck in…

I've seen this happen a few times too and it's really sad for both parties.

This must be why the head waiter at my favorite Italian place loves me so much. By the time I'm done the plate is clean enough to bypass the dishwasher.

Some poor old lady got lye in her sweet tea here a few months ago. That restaurant is still open for some reason.

I live half a planet away from my in-laws and there is not a thing I would change about that.

We're at 24 weeks right now and stuff like this scares the crap out of me.

That's nothing

Just imagine the level of zen and self control it takes to leave one alone for 25 years . . .

I went to highschool with him. He's a great actor and a true nerd.

Yes, it's a misconception that soap hurts the seasoning.

The cleanup wasn't bad at all. In fact, one of the assistants must have taken care of it because neither of us remember anything. We were both too tired to care about it. We originally wanted to do a birth center for that reason too, but our midwife convinced us otherwise.

If you grill it long enough, it will be nothing but carbon which is sort of tender. Crunchy, but tender.

That was part of the reason for our first homebirth. No insurance (Thanks Obamacare!) $10,000-$30,000 not counting prenatal visits. Homebirth $1500 all-inclusive. I'll take option B please. Now we have insurance so a hospital birth would only cost us $1000. We're still doing homebirth because my wife is more…

If you have a spouse who can't measure or who thinks more soap=more clean then they end up actually being cheaper.

My daughter used to beg me for those until I finally let her eat one. My friend's kid loves them though. I calculated the LD50 of those to be something like 4-6 cubes for a 30lb toddler so I wouldn't get too carried away.

That reminds me of the time I decided to teach my wife not to drink water out of random cups on the counter by filling one up with vinegar. It worked.

It adds unnecessary risk in the same way giving birth in a hospital full of sick people with c-section happy doctors hovering over you does.

Weddings are stressful. If I ever do it again, I'll elope. No dress, no guests, no reception.

I'll leave out any commentary on the results, but I don't think we actually want people who don't give a shit to vote just for the heck of it. Part of this country's problem is uninformed, uninterested voters. If they can't be bothered to go spend 30 minutes to vote, do you think that they'll actually make good…

I'm pro-life, but even I know this is stupid. Tell the truth then let people make their own damn decisions. At the end of the day, they're the only ones responsible anyway. Pretending to help just to force your agenda on someone vulnerable helps no one, and worse, actually hurts the organizations that are…