Wishing rape on people, even bad ones, is never OK. Please don't do it in the future.

I’ll bring the multicolored dot stickers so we can write the prices in Sharpie.

Oh, god. I watched this movie several times as a kid and I still think about this scene maybe on a monthly basis. I'm 39.

I would love to have a keychain, slap bracelet, or PopSocket. Oh, how I would laugh every day.

It’s always a good day when I see TV’s Frank!

😹 I am now your biggest fan.

I work with a couple of people who love Reply All. And it’s usually just to respond to a new protocol with “Got it!” Staaaahhhp.

My cats are homeowners. They let me rent from them. They’re quite savvy.

I am aquiver with enthusiasm!

Where is the tentacled monster?

Freudian slip? :-)

Hail, Satan!

Paco had better have luscious, glossy, Ted Danson-esque hair.

I don’t know your life, but I love and respect your choices.

The contractor had better require payment first. We know how the Trumps work.

Ewwww!

He’s obviously a GENTLEMAN. Hoes just don’t get it.

This STILL makes me chortle.

Is there a hotline on that app? I'm still waiting on my checks.

“and it only took two years out of our fucking lives!”