Holy shit, your poor noggin. Glad your recovering and really, that’s going to be one bad-ass scar.

I got my 70 staples removed today!

I have an ear infection as an adult which is profoundly...odd. I mostly feel like my ear is full of cotton, then wrapped in cotton and somehow not attached to my head. But yet painful. I haven’t had an ear infection since I was a kiddo, so I don’t remember if this is what they’ve always felt like?

Longtime lurker, first time caller. Just a little blue & lonely after someone stole our presents out of the lobby, 3 different delivery dates/ 3 different thefts. Makes me think it’s someone in our building who decided they like our taste— Ugh Seattle! But counting my blessings, which include these 365 Candy Cane…

I’ve never done the ugly Christmas sweater thing.

I’m currently wearing an oversize galaxy print hoodie covered in taco cats that we won at a white elephant party. Does that count as a ugly Christmas sweater? Because I think it does.

She’s so insufferable that, when I clicked on that link, I saw “Alan Rickman, in pictures” on the side and just went to that story instead. Because fuck her and love for Alan Rickman always.

If you had skipped her courtesy title and given her proper name – Marie Christine Anna Agnes Hedwig Ida von Reibnitz – it would be a bit more obvious what’s going on!

I’m intrigued. What are the recommended proportions? Do you pour the wine into the already heated hot chocolate?

My father had truly bad taste in jokes - I remember telling him once that he should never tell one of them again because it wasn’t just bad it was offensive and most women would judge him based on it. He thanked me. Sometimes they really are clueless. He was very intelligent otherwise. ;)

It always “amazes”* me how easy these kids find guns lying around.

Especially this time of year, any adorable coupleness needs to stay far far away from me thx

“Candid,” right. Candid photos are the ones of you with your eyes half closed and your chin tucked down so you look like Jabba the Hut.

I love the photos, but that was my first thought! Like this is on the wall in the mall

Oh well look at Mr. Fancy pants with a triple-digit bank balance. Can I refill your brandy snifter you HIGHNESS???

Jared or the picture that was already in the frame when you bought it.

Yeah! As a single person I can spend the $150 in my checking account however I want, so fuck these two!

Does anyone else think the one with Meghan in the sweater looks like an ad for Jared? I mean, it’s still beautiful and maybe I’ve seen too many jewelry ads this holiday season but...

Yeah they may be happy getting married and all, but as a single person I have the freedom of going where I want without anyone telling me what i can do, and without any kids to tie me down, and I can eat whatever I want and it’s so...so....

Congratulations to a lucky couple. It’s about time these poor kids got a break.