The kids call him “G-d Shammg-d.”

Wait, you mean to tell me that an Israeli arrived unannounced and started being aggressive towards the unsuspecting people who were already there? Well I’ll be damned.

“Mitchell & Ness, this is Rickey, calling on behalf of Rickey. Rickey wants to purchase a Rickey jersey.”

These guys figured out this one weird trick. Neurologists hate them!

That’s the most epic burn from an ex-Niners’ coach since Tomsula accidentally used the linen setting when ironing York’s silk shirts.

I didn’t know Bob was so controversial in Cuba, the last three bullets call for a “nueva Ley”

“Nor will he be a goddamn Saint.”

Drew,

What about peeing on a lady? That’s how babies are made.

Your writing style is so maddeningly juvenile and your tone so wildly inconsistent that it had become impossible to distinguish between snark and sincerity.

The tone of American soccer coverage here is so obnoxious. Most of the time there’s not even a point of view or an argument. It’s just cheap disdain for the sake of cheap disdain.

rather than giving the American his first of what will likely be a couple hundred caps for Chelsea

Did you really just use “cap” in reference to club appearances? This blog gets worse by the week.

...why are you being a jerk about this? Seriously, what about any of this calls for snark? I know you’re not a very good writer, so you’re likely just defaulting out of laziness, but damn, man, try sometime.

One instance where changing speeds is not so effective...

I’d say his mood is pretty understandable if he went face first into the airbags

Meanwhile, the Browns are looking to find “the current Johnny Manziel.”

This is foolish, it works both ways.

I miss Greg too, Barry.

Ha! That sniper rifle sounds exactly like a Starter’s Pistol!