Yeah but at least everyone learned something this time and the endemic problem of domestic violence in the NFL has been solved and it’ll never happen again.

Cheating, and then complaining about people not believing it? Sound like Tiesi-Manziel...(puts on sunglasses)...ran like a diva.

“See, this is why I stay a virgin.” — Mark Davis

How will Roger Goodell screw this up? Exactly how Robert Kraft pays him $69-$99 to screw this up.

Then I was told my tip (15%) was too small.

Yeah! What IS the difference between 17 and 18?

Unfortunately, they’ve been taking Fortnite advice from Phil Jackson, so they always drop at three different places equidistant from each other.

He was initially charged with reckless driving but after review it was determined the guy wasn’t set and the call was reversed. 

This is worse than the “Trump’s third term” joke.

Pfffttt...Donald Trump started a bigger Can-Am brawl yesterday.

I usually have to go to White Castle for my horse beef.

Maybe Restoring Hope just came to the conclusion that life is meaningless and winning wouldn’t bring him any joy; but coming in last would greatly dishonor the weird little person who rides and kicks him, like he’s somehow the dominant species. Horse enthusiasts are the worst

Meanwhile, in the basement of the arena:

“Double Bird?!?”

It’s a normal relationship, find a new slant.

If he was any good at stopping things before they bust we wouldn’t be here, would we?

Jay and his wife are going to have to answer a lot of questions now, going around town with a half-Indian baby.

Well that’s a nice change of pace since usually the Mets are the ones fucking people.

The game of mental torture was lost in the late 90s. This version of mental torture isn’t really mental torture, but basic entertainment for the dude on the street that has no idea what to do with his life. He watches mental torture for a few years, drinks craft beer, and eventually dies.

And he thinks coaching the Lions will be any different?