I think we can rule out Derrick as a suspect if you just review his shooting percentage

FINALLY! It’s about damn time an old white dude with a mustache publicly moralized about how things should be.

The real mystery here isn’t how EA could make such a simple mistake, but how did Sunderland win their opening 3 games?

Everyone in that photo looks sketchy as fuck.

My friends and I made a high school film involving the train formation. We are no longer allowed around high schools.

He got all huffy.

Inside - a fun game about going to the beach with your friends.

He only made the putt because someone in the crowd told the ball to “get in the hole.”

Shoulda let it happen, coulda sued and won a sweet tow truck

Why doesn’t Adam come to my desk and cheer me on? I’m a winner too.

Diner: “Can I have the double bacon cheeseburger, fries, beer and the injured player walk-through special please.”

Waiter: “Would you like the special teams player injury or can I interest you in upgrading to a starter?”

I alone am your Mercedes pickup.

And so it begins.

I assumed the guy in the picture was Rand Getlin until I got to the bottom of the article and the line about the meme, and now I will go back to not knowing who or what a Rand Getlin is.

From the title, I was really hoping this was a story about a band destroying a town in Florida.

I think you’ve got a phenomenal first paragraph to your book right there.