“I’m not Batman.” Hmmm...sounds suspiciously like something someone would say if they were trying to hide the fact that they are Batman.

The Adams Family ended

Somewhere Barbaro is looking down on this race and still not comprehending any of this, because he is a horse.

Don’t watch this if you’re Gordon Gund, either.

Listen, I’m as anti-NCAA as any typical Deadspin lunatic, but you need to respect some basic tenants of decency. In no canonical universe would Tony Stark use that old ass phone.

I think the Bucks are OK. When the scammer saw one of the names listed as “Giannis Antetokounmpo”, he figured the Bucks’ employee was wise to his scam and just sending fake info.

Interestingly, this actually does offend 9 out of 10 Native Americans.

Taking offense is like building a fence—you have to do it all alone and it takes a lot of time, and the things you think are nails are actually slender dog turds, and you pick them up and you get slender turd on your hands and then who’s gonna give you a kiss at the supermarket? Not Hannah, the twenty-something bag…

You should see my balls.

Congrats to everyone who wants the gamertag StraightChillin.

Could be worse. I mean, blood clots aren't as devastating as the comet that wiped out the rest of his family sixty five million years ago.

Live Action Role Playing. It’s a form of contraception.

The kid appears to know the path to righteousness.

Le Haven't

Leading causes of death in Russia (per capita):

He violated one of the unwritten rules by hitting a home run while a member of the San Diego Padres.

You wanna know how to succeed in life? Quit giving people the satisfaction of your reaction. Treat everyone you meet with kindness no matter how much they’ve wronged you. Be the bigger person. People are going to be assholes and there is not one single solitary thing you can do about it except for controlling yourself…

“And Noah gathered the dingers, two by two...”

Deep from the terrifying bowels of Mt Shitty Take; Geoffrey Redick appears.