Gordon Bombay really needs to get this thug under control.

I don't know. I'm not Gordon Bombay. I don't make these decisions.

Give Helen Keller a stick, put her on ice, then rapidly spin her around in front of the net and she'll score as many goals as Perry

If Getzlaf could hit the back of the net more often, Corey Perry wouldn't have a job.

Okay, to fight Pavel Datsyuk is pretty low but to get dropped by him as well takes it to another level.

"Kind of good" compared to skilled players. He scores some decent goals but he scores of a lot of garbage goals, too.

He's the type of piece of shit that Chris Pronger used to be. He's kind of good, walks the line but never crosses it, and only fights players he's 100% positive he could beat.

I used to do this all the time as a child too. It's called "not having a dad"

Great use of foreshadowing in the opening frame.

Eh fuck you, budday.

Finally! A story about an NBA owner with a happy ending.

0:06: RAPTORS GET THE BALL!

1 million antique typewriters cry out in delight.

"Just hold on, we're goin' home...."

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By Tom Ley

I'm more impressed that Etch-A-Sketch is now making video cameras.

Foodspin would like to have a word...

Floyd Mayweather is shitting bricks.