Alternatively, you could just ban entitled douchebags from your restaurant. I’d start with man-buns, neck beards, and Volvo drivers.

“Why can’t my dog sit just outside the restaurant patio?”

They already did that in them olden days. It worked pretty well if you ask me. Hope they resurrect the configuration again.

“I was writing about this show and doing research at the same time. We go on Tinder and probably swiped on everybody in Los Angeles. We were not even looking, just swiping. I had 252 matches that night, and 400 the next day. So I was going through them all, and one of them had a really cute message. And I said, ‘Oh,…

What upstate said. I love using big toys with my wife-I love the look in her eyes when she feels “full” and I love the intensity of her orgasms with them. And yes, I am pretty much a perverted freak-and I have no interest in changing.

yo Joey ... look at your right hand and that half-scooped jar of Vaseline ... those look or act anything like the real GF thang? what folks do & use to get themselves off is nothing like working with the real sensuous significant other.

Here’s a tip. Learn what toys she likes and bring them into the bedroom with you. She will quite enjoy it. You don’t get docked points for using outside help in bringing her pleasure, you’re still bringing her pleasure. A vibrator can become your best friend as well.

There should’ve been a Lombardi Trophy in the box. They never would’ve identified it.

I’m still trying to figure this one out.

My ex-BF wore (wears? I mean, he didn’t vaporize) briefs and sometimes he would really have to inspect the underwear he picked off the floor before putting it on in the morning to make sure it wasn’t mine.

Especially when they were apparently very well-established douchebags with a history of disrespecting public land.

Don’t forget to pack the kid!

Jesus Christ the next mayonnaise ass to whine about “civility” unironically to me is getting a full open handed slap across their stupid fucking face, followed immediately by an apology. You know, to be civil or whatever. 

Y’all are in for a treat now! https://twitter.com/Dephree?s=09

Yet a picture of a Frenchman with his lips around a small cock is ok?

Also, how can anyone still be “undecided” about Trump?

It’s still dumb, but don’t manipulate quotes. It’s bad journalism and it’s what makes people distrust mainstream media (besides the Russians). Like, you should definitely leave in the part “While “Toupee-Wearing Ball of Spite” may not be doing a good job himself, Lynch thinks, he is opening up a space where other…

I have ZERO sympathy for most farmers.

Vaya, mejor tarde que nunca!