History for Humanity was Habitat for Humanity's much less successful splinter faction; they used to volunteer to build rare document rooms for homeless librarians.

But by commenting, you encourage me to respond, which just serves their insidious moneymaking scheme. John, you are the demons!

Trump is a businessman! He'll collect underwear! Then ???! Then profit!

We need time for some things to happen! Make Nilbog great again! Unlimited rice pudding et cetera et cetera!

So that's why Boehner left the Speaker's office!

Lebensraum for Cliven Bundy's cattle!

That's true. It's verifiable. The reason is called "narcissistic personality disorder."

I knew I knew you from somewhere!

Why does Chad Helm hate Ben Carson so much?

NAME YEAR!!!

Barack Obama: not a politician!

I'm pretty sure Dan does not endorse puke play. You'll have to send those letters elsewhere.

No, no, the geyser is Old Faithful. And just so you don't get even more confused, the dog is Old Yeller.

How do capital letters and quotation marks work?

Chad Helm may look like an idiot, and write like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

Bring back Bunheads!

Fuckin supplements? So, like, homeopathic Viagra?

No, no, the Hater was Amelie Gillette's old feature. Now we troll the Tolerability Index.

It's true. Hitler started out writing snarky articles on entertainment websites.

I shouldn't have to point it out to anyone but the most uninformed observer of political and human history.