"Mister Blutarsky: zero...point...zero."

Franco Harris: Least Mode.

I'm still looking for the linebacker and the bottle of Dom. I've been looking for 20 minutes, and I just can't find him anywhere.

Moonlight Graham.

Sometimes there is no warning when you have to drop a Brown.

The logical conclusion:

More like the Ass-tros, amirite?

Kids are so fucking stupid these days. We didn't have camera phones when I was a teen but most people had cameras and camcorders. The rule was always never film shit that could be used as evidence against us. Hell, that usually just meant no pics when we were drinking beer as minors. Now these dummies break real laws…

"OK, most teens are the worst."

That's a bold statement.

How far can you punt a football?

Man. Between this and Sochi, the IOC must really hate fags.

In other news Aaron Hernandez's lawyer is issuing a press release about the Oscar Pistorius case...

I call BS. I knew a lot of football players in college and, while it isn't a definitive sample, by far the most common state was "drunken."

The home run was measured at 395 feet, 3.5 inches.

More than one sore Johnson in this game.

Whew! So my personal ad on reallybigpenis.com should be ok.