According to Steely Dan, Katy Lied.

These NFL concussion stories just get sadder and sadder.

Fettysburg Address

Not since Sam Hurd has the world seen a Bear sling rock like this.

[Repeatedly tries and fails to pronounce pinch-runner’s name]

Swansby Danson.

The most impressive part was watching Christie turn a 42-54-62 double play.

You put “Tea” where you meant to say “Ass”.

How many were injured when the ambulance crashed into the hedge?

One guy’s fans and followers have a belief system where they devoutly accept everything their leaders tell them now matter how far fetched. The other’s followers are far-right Christian fundamentalists.

This really is the world cup of spam and we’re issuing a red card.

I lost my copy of “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” there last night. Did anyone on the Cubs find my Czech book?

[looks over visa]
[doesn’t recognize name]
[shrugs shoulders]

Must have been somebody charging the mound.

♫ Your own...

Well, fuck. Hopefully the real wreck goes better.

Catanzaro: [Negotiates Log Grip]
Catanzaro: [Handles Salmon Ladder]
Catanzaro: [Scales Warped Wall]
Color Guy: Catanzaro is killing it so far. KILLING it!
Play-By-Play Guy: But here's where it gets tricky.
Catanzaro: [Jumps over Slow and Low]
Catanzaro: [Dodges Hawaiian Punch]
Catanzaro: [Finishes Chicken Fingers With Deadly…

Katie Nolan threw salt in his wounds much like the United States army did when they seeded clouds above Khe Sanh to regulate the amount of fog using sodium as a deterrent against the composition of the stratus cloud. Despite not being a terribly successful attempt, it was in the same vein as Operation Popeye, which…

"She blew him up like the car bomb that took out Dylan McKay's father in season three of 90210." ——- Bill Simmons