So, you don't tip then. You expect free shit by bribing the server to steal from her job. Then when they don't comply with "hooking you up" you give them shit about it. Here's a hint, bartenders fucking hate you.

Ryan Anderson: [clicks on "Deadspin.com"]

+1

I'm just glad it was a blown pass and not a shot. We all know what happened the last time a Net's errant shot hit a guy.

Most of Texas decided to abstain with the Seattle/SF game as they had to choose between two African-American leaders.

Once again, we've got maps that break down

Officer struck him in the leg with his ASP but it had no effect.

Meanwhile, children in New Orleans and Charlotte are granted their final wish - to die with dignity.

Getting pretty tired of all the IOC's macho head games. Next thing you know, they'll make Jessie change her pads every period because of "hygiene."

Bandwagon Cam truthers.

Dolphins: Davone, we're trading you to Cleveland.

Browns receivers should know by now that weedin' is always going to make them look bad.

The incredulous appeal to his teammates shows that Austin is acquainted with another well-known river, denial.

"I WILL FIGHT EVERY BLACKBERRY HERE"

Similar to how police officers get sprayed with mace during training so they know how to use it responsibly, Comcast wants its anchors to know what it's like for customers dealing with Comcast so it fucks them with a grizzly bear dick.

Would certainly explain why the Colts decided to stick with Chuck Pagano.

He's just reminding his teammates of the stakes.

This is an old trick. Across the street, the Mariners have been restricting ticket purchases from people from any ZIP code since early 2008.

They should develop some sort of sticky substance that could be applied to the track to stop things from sliding around. I have no idea how you'd make something like that, though.

Whoever voted for Rogers is playing it close to the vest. I hope they know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.